Gather round and let me tell you the story of how Encyclopedia Dramatica lopped off its head to try and spite its ugly body.
There once was a fat man named Onideus, he was boisterous, mean, antagonistic and loved to shit post. He made many enemies, but brought about much mirth with his inflammatory posting and Discordian perspectives.
The enemies of this fat man were many and they cried out, "DEATH TO THE FAT HATTER!"
...but Onideus simply laughed in response.
Enraged, his enemies began to attack more... and more... they would stop at nothing to get back at this monstrous man of great girth... I mean mirth. Try and try as they might, they couldn't not budge this mountain of a man. Eventually they became so desperate in their Onideus Derangement Syndrome or ODS (pronounced odious) that they began to use illegal tactics... they tried death threats, bomb threats, contacting friends and family, threatening his friends and family, posting his dox, then his social security number, libeling him as a furry, then as an adult baby, eventually the libelous accusations escalated into outright claims of pedophilia and eventually trailed off into bizarre insinuations that he was stalking Drew Barrymore as a psychic vampire... and apparently a drum corps was involved.
None of this derangement worked. The fat man simply dropped and let out nuclear text bomb after nuclear text bomb. Eventually the admin of the site at the time, one Brian Zaiger, became so drunkenly enraged he went on the talk page of this great shit poster and cried out for a personal army, "VANDALIZE HIS PROPERTY! DESTROY HIS PROPERTY!" he cried with vengeful reckoning in his voice.
The fat man... had been waiting. He knew. He knew if he was patient enough, if he endured enough, if he took enough hits... that eventually, eventually these odious ass hats would step over the line... a line or six of legality that would absolutely ensure their immediate end if acted upon by that mean 'ol Onideus.
So an ultimatum was given to this Brian... do as I say, or I will legally end you outright.
Brian did not believe at first, oh no, skeptical was he, who had spent so much of his time hammering away at this large bodied rock of a man... but then Onideus began to move... very slowly at first, just a taste... a tap... one little tap... and Brian knew... he knew to bow before the God of humanity's demons.
This did not sit well with the lessers, the doormats, the dregs, the EDiots... one of them became so irrational an enraged he went postal! Shot up a school and killed two innocent kids... all because a fat man on the Internet erased an article he wrote and took away the only semblance of control he felt he still had in life.
Eventually the others became so furious and flustered they OUSTED the Brian! They cheered out, "NO MORE BRIAN, NO MORE ONIDEUS!" They would kill the captain to try and sink the great ship Onideus.
Then a man named Sibin from Serbia took the helm of the sinking ship and declared, "I WILL SAIL US TO A NEW LAND OF LULZ!"
...but the lulz did not come. There weren't any good new articles, there weren't any new memes, there weren't any new lulzy images, or videos... there was just despair and bitterness as the ship slowly sank onwards into the abyss.
At one point, a sly little weasel nosed his way onto the ship, he whispered sweet lies to the Sibin, promised him a leashed return of the Onideus and so he began...
This of course did not suade Onion Math Hat and the sly little weasel began accusing him of uploading child porn to the server! Of course, nothing of the sort ever occurred, but what was a little fraud on top of libel, thought the cat snake? As he began removing pictures of bacon and then turned around and deleted the edit logs with false accusations! No one would know, right? I mean, it's not like there was someone monitoring the RC in real time using video screen capturing... oh, oops...
This of course did not please Odoriferous Mud Flapper as he leaned on over to Sibin and issued the same legal ultimatum he gave to Brian. But Sibin was a sly fox, he thought,
"I live in Serbia! It's too far away from you, you have no power here!"
Sibin could not have been more wrong. Very quickly he learned that he was standing on the edge of a great precipice and cried out, "WAIT! NO! IT'S NOT MINE! I GAVE IT ALL AWAY TO THE WEASEL FUR!"
But Onideus was looking for a scarecrow... he would use Sibin as a warning. And in turn contacted the SIA, Serbia's version of the FBI and whispered sweet secrets into their virtual ears. Their interest piqued, they began to investigate and in a panic Sibin pulled the plug on Encyclopedia Dramatica... he tried to burn the whole ship with everyone still on it... just to save himself.
89 posts and 63 images omitted.