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(16.87 KB 160x160 ED - Encyclopedia Methica.png)
Encyclopedia Dramatica Anonymous 11/11/2019 (Mon) 05:05:13 No. 2585
Gather round and let me tell you the story of how Encyclopedia Dramatica lopped off its head to try and spite its ugly body.

There once was a fat man named Onideus, he was boisterous, mean, antagonistic and loved to shit post. He made many enemies, but brought about much mirth with his inflammatory posting and Discordian perspectives.

The enemies of this fat man were many and they cried out, "DEATH TO THE FAT HATTER!"

...but Onideus simply laughed in response.

Enraged, his enemies began to attack more... and more... they would stop at nothing to get back at this monstrous man of great girth... I mean mirth. Try and try as they might, they couldn't not budge this mountain of a man. Eventually they became so desperate in their Onideus Derangement Syndrome or ODS (pronounced odious) that they began to use illegal tactics... they tried death threats, bomb threats, contacting friends and family, threatening his friends and family, posting his dox, then his social security number, libeling him as a furry, then as an adult baby, eventually the libelous accusations escalated into outright claims of pedophilia and eventually trailed off into bizarre insinuations that he was stalking Drew Barrymore as a psychic vampire... and apparently a drum corps was involved.

None of this derangement worked. The fat man simply dropped and let out nuclear text bomb after nuclear text bomb. Eventually the admin of the site at the time, one Brian Zaiger, became so drunkenly enraged he went on the talk page of this great shit poster and cried out for a personal army, "VANDALIZE HIS PROPERTY! DESTROY HIS PROPERTY!" he cried with vengeful reckoning in his voice.

The fat man... had been waiting. He knew. He knew if he was patient enough, if he endured enough, if he took enough hits... that eventually, eventually these odious ass hats would step over the line... a line or six of legality that would absolutely ensure their immediate end if acted upon by that mean 'ol Onideus.

So an ultimatum was given to this Brian... do as I say, or I will legally end you outright.

Brian did not believe at first, oh no, skeptical was he, who had spent so much of his time hammering away at this large bodied rock of a man... but then Onideus began to move... very slowly at first, just a taste... a tap... one little tap... and Brian knew... he knew to bow before the God of humanity's demons.

This did not sit well with the lessers, the doormats, the dregs, the EDiots... one of them became so irrational an enraged he went postal! Shot up a school and killed two innocent kids... all because a fat man on the Internet erased an article he wrote and took away the only semblance of control he felt he still had in life.

Eventually the others became so furious and flustered they OUSTED the Brian! They cheered out, "NO MORE BRIAN, NO MORE ONIDEUS!" They would kill the captain to try and sink the great ship Onideus.

Then a man named Sibin from Serbia took the helm of the sinking ship and declared, "I WILL SAIL US TO A NEW LAND OF LULZ!"

...but the lulz did not come. There weren't any good new articles, there weren't any new memes, there weren't any new lulzy images, or videos... there was just despair and bitterness as the ship slowly sank onwards into the abyss.

At one point, a sly little weasel nosed his way onto the ship, he whispered sweet lies to the Sibin, promised him a leashed return of the Onideus and so he began...


This of course did not suade Onion Math Hat and the sly little weasel began accusing him of uploading child porn to the server! Of course, nothing of the sort ever occurred, but what was a little fraud on top of libel, thought the cat snake? As he began removing pictures of bacon and then turned around and deleted the edit logs with false accusations! No one would know, right? I mean, it's not like there was someone monitoring the RC in real time using video screen capturing... oh, oops...


This of course did not please Odoriferous Mud Flapper as he leaned on over to Sibin and issued the same legal ultimatum he gave to Brian. But Sibin was a sly fox, he thought,

"I live in Serbia! It's too far away from you, you have no power here!"

Sibin could not have been more wrong. Very quickly he learned that he was standing on the edge of a great precipice and cried out, "WAIT! NO! IT'S NOT MINE! I GAVE IT ALL AWAY TO THE WEASEL FUR!"


But Onideus was looking for a scarecrow... he would use Sibin as a warning. And in turn contacted the SIA, Serbia's version of the FBI and whispered sweet secrets into their virtual ears. Their interest piqued, they began to investigate and in a panic Sibin pulled the plug on Encyclopedia Dramatica... he tried to burn the whole ship with everyone still on it... just to save himself.

>>2585 Just for the record the more people try to vehemently discredit Onideus the more I think that they a. are from Encyclopedia Dramatica and have absolutely no life and b. have something to hide. I am now wondering why Onideus doesn't just sling all the dirt he has on them to the FBI and be done with it.
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>>9488 You are so special!
>>9488 He literally has nothing and has been harassing the last 3 ED sys-admins because he's butthurt that we won't give him back his admin on the wiki.
>>9488 Mostly because the legal system would destroy them. The sentences they shell out for a lot of the illegal shit that they've done are incredibly heavy handed. As such I generally try and look for alternative ways of mitigating their idiocy, largely by having their stuff shut down at the source or by contacting friends, family, employers, etc to try and get them to intervene. I guess maybe the problem is I just don't really hate any thing or any one, like even when someone does something really bad to me my first instinct is not to just end them outright, even though that is often the easiest recourse. So usually I just wind up "playing" in a sense, lightly poking and prodding until things work out in my favor. Like with Sibin I first started poking at a couple of his friends, then some of his family and then after I poked real hard at his employer... he dumped the entire site and was done with it. From my perspective, that was a much better outcome than simply having him locked up for years on end in some horrific Serbian gulag. Took a lot more time and effort, but I think it was the right thing to do. A lot of them are just young, stupid, angry and making poor decisions; and since I'm older and more experienced I guess in a way I also feel a certain degree of parental responsibility. That's why when Ryan got arrested I felt really bad about it and even gave him a bunch of money for his legal defense. I honestly don't feel that the legal system is in any way fair or reasonable when it comes to a lot of shit, especially when it comes to electronic/computer related crime. I mean just look at what they did to Weev or Aaron Swartz! I don't hate anyone enough to try and bring about an outcome like that, no matter how much they might hate me. I like being more mischievous than malevolent if at all possible.
Oh... except with Jonathan Ross, cause he openly admitted to being a pedophile and working at a school. In his case I contacted over a dozen different law enforcement agencies, his family, every school district in the entire area and went full nuclear on his dumbass until they intervened and stopped that shit outright. One of the reasons they acted so fast was because I threatened to contact EVERY news station affiliate in the entire country, all at once, to let them know that a self-admitted pedophile on YouTube was working at a school if they didn't hurry the fuck up and lock his ass down! ...hence the video he later posted about how multiple law enforcement agencies all descended on him all at once and how he had to spend an entire week dealing with them. Which ultimately led to his firing, being kicked out of his mom's place, being put into a group home, being put under close state supervision, etc, etc. Sooo... yeah, there are ~certain~ times when I will take the full "nuclear option" so to speak, but not often.
>>9470 Hey asshole, I was 8chan first proud member of the /pol/ board for 5 years . U mothers cunt smells bad, why do you u keep licking it? Anyway keep up the shitshow, its etertaining you fat fuck.
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I'm getting all fidgety! Like... it's just... right there... tldregistrarsolutions.com AAAAAHHHH! *reports* Heeee... I know I probably should have waited for Brian, but I want to play too! I won't do any more... yet. But if Brian waits too long I'm going to have some more fun. Just watching isn't any fun. :(
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Oh come on, what's one more page? I mean it's not like they haven't completely mutilated the entire wiki to the point of epic fail already... why stop now? :D I'm sure ~this~ time it'll TOTALLY get to me! Not that it matters of course, I mean, the current rendition will fall even faster than Conrad's attempt. The current... infestation, that's attempting to run ED just can't seem to swallow their bloated pride. Honestly, how fucking difficult would it be to just... give me what I want. I mean it's not like I'm asking for anything unreasonable and the perks and benefits from making nice with me are pretty outstanding. Not to mention I'd stop actively attempting to topple on over your garbage. It's kind of like the old saying about picking your battles. But the rage just runs too deep I'm afraid... it's like TDS, but ODS... Onideus Derangement Syndrome. And the CUCKS like CrackRabbit that continually follow along with the spiteful HEATHENS... they're just fucking pathetic. Grow some balls already, Bitch Made! Can't you stand tha'fuck up and be a man?
>>9527 >worst homoerotic Mad Hatter fapfic ever I can't tell if he's just lacking in creativity or if he's just really, REALLY lazy. : |
ima cummy in onifag's bummy UwU
>>9470 At this point why even count Sibin Grasic and Conrad Alan Rockenhaus? These sonsa bitches threw them under the bus already, but none of them can run/set up the site, so their stupid to cannibalize they're own. >>9518 C'mon dude. Site's already dead in essence so why let them continue the shitshow? Take it down already and they'll cry.
>>9544 You really are a dumb fucking faggot, Matt.
Onideus is stupid only for still wanting admin on ed
>>9558 Hi, Matt.
>>9558 Tell us more about GOI onideus, do you have a picture of her you can share?
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>>9560 Here's a photo of her.
>>9496 How are you so sure that these guys aren't up to actual crimes? Do you really know them that well? If you think that there's more dirt on them than even you know, then give the cops enough info to get a search warrant and have them destroy their collective anus. I've watched these guys bitch and moan at you for a good month now and not only am I really fucking tired of this stuff shitting up this good board, I am getting suspicious. Of them. I hope you use logic and logic alone to deal with these guys and the hell with mercy. Something is not right here.
>>9565 You're tired of US shitting up your pathetic 4chan clone? What about the diaper-wearing faggot who started this thread and has been bitching about us for the past 5 fucking months? You're either Matt posting anonymously again or you're a literal retard who should have been aborted.
>>9566 Yeah, I am. Because even though I'm tired of Onideus's bitching about ED he still contributes to the board with OC whereas the only shit you contribute is more and yet more bitching. Also, you are also sticking around on this pathetic little 4chan clone and replying to my posts within a day or so. Are you disabled and chronically sick like me? Or do you just not have a job? I don't really care as long as you leave. ht tps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-HsWxMq36s
>>9565 Well, let me put it this way... as stupid as they are, if they are doing highly illegal shit (and I'm sure many of them are)... it's only a matter of time before they get themselves caught and wind up in prison, regardless of whatever I do. I've been online in the more volatile communities long enough to know that... play stupid games... win stupid prizes. I mean their current owner has already had his shit raided TWICE by the police... and now that he's hosting ED and directly enabling, encouraging and facilitating identity theft and fraud... yeeaaah... he ain't gonna last long. This thread is mostly just for the lolcow drama they bring about as they're squealing like stuck pigs right before their own inevitable slaughter. I'm just here to provide insult to their self-injury. If you don't like seeing it I would advise hiding the thread (and another other threads they make). >>9566 I've made like ONE singular thread dedicated to mocking you idiots, which can easily be set to hidden by anyone who doesn't want to see it... on the other hand you've made... what, more than a DOZEN screechy little Hatter hate threads just in the past couple months? Look, I get it, you're stupid and you're flustered because your stupidity causes you keep walking right tha'fuck into a wall... but that sure as shit ain't my fault. Don't blame me for all the stupid ass shit you idiots keep doing. Bitch made little paste eater EDiots like you are in sore need of a little introspection.
>>9561 That looks like your mum than some dumb slut from IOWA onideus, try to rape harder.
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ED's new logo shows themselves getting fisted... you can't make this shit up.
>>2585 ED from the last I've heard was run by Jews, like Oddguy, Rodion, Dropdatwat, Zaiger, etc. Weev is also a kike who would delete content on the wiki about Jews doing WTC. He got deeply offended by that meme, probably because he is one himself. Btw, that info comes from Alison Chabloz who knew somebody on there. ED also doxxes racists. That should come as no surprise to people that know the site. I remember one time Ryan Cleary of LulzSec and former owner of ED hacked DreamHost, causing 4chon's owner STI hundreds of dollars in server bills, so he retaliated by hacking the forum by figuring out a password that Cleary set to "niggers1" before dumping the email addresses of EDF users on Pastebin. Cleary later got busted with kiddy porn on his hard drive. I guess that's what happens when you target somebody who isn't low-hanging fruit like the rest of the people that ED occasionally doxxes and writes about in their articles.


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