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Encyclopedia Dramatica Anonymous 11/11/2019 (Mon) 05:05:13 No. 2585
Gather round and let me tell you the story of how Encyclopedia Dramatica lopped off its head to try and spite its ugly body.

There once was a fat man named Onideus, he was boisterous, mean, antagonistic and loved to shit post. He made many enemies, but brought about much mirth with his inflammatory posting and Discordian perspectives.

The enemies of this fat man were many and they cried out, "DEATH TO THE FAT HATTER!"

...but Onideus simply laughed in response.

Enraged, his enemies began to attack more... and more... they would stop at nothing to get back at this monstrous man of great girth... I mean mirth. Try and try as they might, they couldn't not budge this mountain of a man. Eventually they became so desperate in their Onideus Derangement Syndrome or ODS (pronounced odious) that they began to use illegal tactics... they tried death threats, bomb threats, contacting friends and family, threatening his friends and family, posting his dox, then his social security number, libeling him as a furry, then as an adult baby, eventually the libelous accusations escalated into outright claims of pedophilia and eventually trailed off into bizarre insinuations that he was stalking Drew Barrymore as a psychic vampire... and apparently a drum corps was involved.

None of this derangement worked. The fat man simply dropped and let out nuclear text bomb after nuclear text bomb. Eventually the admin of the site at the time, one Brian Zaiger, became so drunkenly enraged he went on the talk page of this great shit poster and cried out for a personal army, "VANDALIZE HIS PROPERTY! DESTROY HIS PROPERTY!" he cried with vengeful reckoning in his voice.

The fat man... had been waiting. He knew. He knew if he was patient enough, if he endured enough, if he took enough hits... that eventually, eventually these odious ass hats would step over the line... a line or six of legality that would absolutely ensure their immediate end if acted upon by that mean 'ol Onideus.

So an ultimatum was given to this Brian... do as I say, or I will legally end you outright.

Brian did not believe at first, oh no, skeptical was he, who had spent so much of his time hammering away at this large bodied rock of a man... but then Onideus began to move... very slowly at first, just a taste... a tap... one little tap... and Brian knew... he knew to bow before the God of humanity's demons.

This did not sit well with the lessers, the doormats, the dregs, the EDiots... one of them became so irrational an enraged he went postal! Shot up a school and killed two innocent kids... all because a fat man on the Internet erased an article he wrote and took away the only semblance of control he felt he still had in life.

Eventually the others became so furious and flustered they OUSTED the Brian! They cheered out, "NO MORE BRIAN, NO MORE ONIDEUS!" They would kill the captain to try and sink the great ship Onideus.

Then a man named Sibin from Serbia took the helm of the sinking ship and declared, "I WILL SAIL US TO A NEW LAND OF LULZ!"

...but the lulz did not come. There weren't any good new articles, there weren't any new memes, there weren't any new lulzy images, or videos... there was just despair and bitterness as the ship slowly sank onwards into the abyss.

At one point, a sly little weasel nosed his way onto the ship, he whispered sweet lies to the Sibin, promised him a leashed return of the Onideus and so he began...


This of course did not suade Onion Math Hat and the sly little weasel began accusing him of uploading child porn to the server! Of course, nothing of the sort ever occurred, but what was a little fraud on top of libel, thought the cat snake? As he began removing pictures of bacon and then turned around and deleted the edit logs with false accusations! No one would know, right? I mean, it's not like there was someone monitoring the RC in real time using video screen capturing... oh, oops...


This of course did not please Odoriferous Mud Flapper as he leaned on over to Sibin and issued the same legal ultimatum he gave to Brian. But Sibin was a sly fox, he thought,

"I live in Serbia! It's too far away from you, you have no power here!"

Sibin could not have been more wrong. Very quickly he learned that he was standing on the edge of a great precipice and cried out, "WAIT! NO! IT'S NOT MINE! I GAVE IT ALL AWAY TO THE WEASEL FUR!"


But Onideus was looking for a scarecrow... he would use Sibin as a warning. And in turn contacted the SIA, Serbia's version of the FBI and whispered sweet secrets into their virtual ears. Their interest piqued, they began to investigate and in a panic Sibin pulled the plug on Encyclopedia Dramatica... he tried to burn the whole ship with everyone still on it... just to save himself.


For over a month the flames raged away at the leaky boat, aimlessly floating with no direction and not a competent captain to take the helm.

Eventually though, a very round headed man name Conrad Rockenhaus came along and said, "I WILL SAVE YOU! I WILL PUT OUT THE FLAMES! I WILL PATCH THE LEAKING BOAT!"

But Conrad was not especially bright...


He was a braggart and a boastful man and so when Onideus came along, once again, and delivered his legal ultimatum... the Rock stood stupid and boldly claimed he was untouchable, because he was SUPER BEST FRIENDS with the CHIEF OF POLICE! OH NOES!


...and that's where the story ends... for now. For today. We shall soon see though, whether the rock will budge, whether he'll burn away the incoherent angry screed written by a self-deprecating half Jew, half Muslim mongrel name OddGuy... or whether he'll burn himself and the entire site once again in odious defiance.

He likes it though you know... he likes watching them burn themselves out of spiteful indignance. It delights him in a way you don't even have the capacity to comprehend. They should not have ever angered this God man. Or maybe... maybe they shouldn't have gotten so angry over a jolly fat man on the Internet that they lost control of themselves and wound up doing illegal shit left and right... maybe that's the real lesson to this story.


Just as an update, they're ignoring the cease and desist letter sent to them 5 business days ago and are presently in the process of burning roughly 20,000 images off the site that I uploaded over the past 10 years, which in turn is making the entire site look like the inside of a meth addict's mouth... full of holes/decay. According to the mods on their forums/site it's supposed to be some kind of retarded intimidation/coercion tactic... which is a pretty stupid thing to openly admit in the face of getting an cease and desist order.

Even beyond the fact that it shows malice and intent to cause harm (on a legal level), it can't really hurt me without also hurting them and, honestly, I can just go upload the images anywhere else... probably I'll shove them all into Know Your Meme or some other image site... or maybe I'll just make a torrent out of them or something.

In any event, at the rate they keep doubling down and tripling down and quadrupling down... yeaaaah, don't expect them to be around much longer. Half the shit they're hosting is technically illegal under Texas law so if they don't want to remove a few angry little articles about me they're more than likely going to lose everything outright.

I do have the entire site backed up though, at least until around 2018 (when I stopped uploading and writing articles), so even if the law man shuts it down entirely (like they did with Sibin over a month ago)... I still got a backup.

Do they even teach zoomers how to read?

I'm assuming at some point they're just going to have some kind of automated text to speech converter built into everything and the entire art of writing will just wind up erased completely from history.

Honestly speaking, at this point, humanity would probably be better off ending itself outright rather than continuing down this spiral of Idiocracy.
I want to facefuck you so hard, Matthew. I want to impregnate your mouth and watch as my offspring devour their way out of your face.

...it's a nice fantasy, but uh... well, you're impotent (in more ways than one).

That's the best comeback you've got? God, you're slipping.

It wasn't a comeback, it was a show of mercy.
LOL, You're such a triggered fat fuck.
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Now, now, don't post angry.
By the by...


"(a) A person commits an offense if he intentionally or knowingly displays or distributes an obscene photograph, drawing, or similar visual representation or other obscene material and is reckless about whether a person is present who will be OFFENDED or alarmed by the display or distribution."

I mean, right now... I could have ED shut down and its present owner, Conrad Rockenhaus, put in prison ~just~ for the "offended" article... I mean ~just~ that article alone would be enough to end ED outright.
When are you going to report yourself for the contents of your harddrive then Fatty Matty?
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Which one? There are several hundred.

The FBI has full access to my data archive and anything in it. I'm sure if there's anything contained within it that they'd like removed they'd be sure and let me know... as would any of the other parties with access.

Is there some particular file or files within the archive that you're explicitly referring to? The whole of the archive contains many millions of files, more so than any one human could ever even hope to see within one lifetime, so I'm afraid I'm not directly privy to exact contents of every file.


*licks your face to establish dominance*

And now for a random assortment of images Encyclopedia Dramatica just burned off their server... because they think they're child porn... apparently...
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More random things burned off ED (along with roughly twenty thousand other images).

They completely wiped hundreds of articles, everything from Grumpy Cat to Plastic Surgery to Arrow Cats to Gersh Kuntzman to the "It's Okay To Be White" article to Smugglypuff to you name it... they even wiped out dozens of articles about pedophiles (like Alison Rapp), because, well, I guess that's just how they roll over there on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
thanks for the read, fatso. haven't thought about ED since middle school.
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Glad you enjoyed it and, yeah, ED is pretty forgettable and it's mostly been replaced by Kiwi Farms.

Oh, in an exciting new update Conrad e-mailed me, acknowledging all the illegal shit and... he offered to remove my article... in exchange for the last two years worth of site data (which was lost when the Serbian government shut it down)... I declined and pointed out that what he was doing was blackmail. Then he said he was going to sue me on Tuesday and bragged about how he would sue me before I could sue him and somehow he thought that was beneficial to him or... something, I'm not sure, I think the man is insane.

That being the case, I went on ahead and started contacting law enforcement...
neurotic boomer the thread
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Haven't heard back yet from the Krum police department, if there's no word by Monday I'll phone them up. Some departments can be pretty slow with looking into stuff like this though, I've had some stuff I've reported take upwards of a MONTH before they took action.

Even that time I reported that openly admitted pedophile, Jonathan Ross aka Tub Tard, it took them nearly a week to actually do anything... which was kind of scary given that he openly admitted to working at a school with disabled kids and that he was alone with said kids.

I think maybe tomorrow I'll contact the Texas state attorney general's office.

Then I'll probably file a report with the IC3 after that.

It's kind of nice that they didn't set it up on a foreign server, it's so much easier to take down deranged nutballs when they're stateside.
>Tell me more about the ED and why would I care

Well erectile dysfunction is no laughing matter! You should talk with your doctor about any penis problems you may be experiencing.
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You know, it just occurred to me... they actually didn't remove just the images I uploaded. Apparently they were too stupid to actually setup their deletion bot to differentiate between ORIGINAL uploads and RESTORED uploads... most of which I don't actually have anymore... in fact I don't think anyone does.

Basically what happened was when Sherrod originally took the site down it was restored via several half-assed backups, which meant that that were thousands of images that only existed as thumbnails... and I went and restored all the original images to those thumbnails... which they just destroyed... completely (even the thumbnails this time around).


I think the only disheartening thing about all this is that no one really cares about the site anymore. That's why I'm actually glad they butchered themselves up like this, because I was genuinely interested in seeing whether anyone would even say anything or care at all, but uh... doesn't look like it.

But I honestly can't blame them for that. After Sherrod gave up on it the only time the site was even remotely gaining in popularity was when I was running it (for about two years in total) and even then, to be honest, it's only because Google was actively spidering the image content I was uploading and using it directly in their image search engine. Yahoo! was doing the same at one point.

At this point the only thing the site is good for is actively targeting the crazy nutjobs running it, like Conrad Rockenhaus, to try and get them arrested before they shoot up another school.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh shi- oh gawd I'm gonna die of laughter! :D

Holy shit dudes... so Ubertard is all like, "I'm helping!" and completely destroys 20% of the wiki, all the while making up the most completely fuckin absurd reasons. Like she claims 5% of the images were of children? Uh... I just did a random sampling of 200 pictures from my upload archive and you know what I found? One picture of a kid... and it was a "success kid" demotivator image.

In fact, I bet if I were to go through the WHOLE archive, of the 7,000 the idiot deleted... probably less than 50 would have kids in them and they'd all be the most pedestrian level bullshit imaginable.

I think the only thing I uploaded directly involving kids was some generic AP photos of kids from China wearing those "split pants" which I used in a section of the China article, specifically mocking them for being a 3rd world country where they just piss and shit all over the place.

The other claim that most of the images came from 9Gag or other pedestrian sites is also insanely laughable. Most of the images I uploaded came from incredibly obscure sources, with zero watermarks, many were completely original that I made and even the ones that weren't I often recreated the images from scratch to make new/better/larger versions (see attached example).

And then check this shit out... they wiped out entire, major fucking articles like the Smugglypuff article, because apparently Ubertard has been living under a rock or something... and then their idiot admins turn right the fuck around and are all like, 'Hurr durr, look I restored it from a copy on Wayback!"

*epic fucking face palm*

These people are straight up retarded... I mean there's just... there's no other way to explain this clown world clusterfuck. I have never seen anything so balls up retarded in my life on the Internet. My only longing regret in all this shit is that... nobody fucking cares about ED anymore, so this delicious self-mutilation will go largely unnoticed.

Not that it matters much on the whole though, I mean Conrad is likely gonna be behind bars by the time I get through with him (and his kids likely taken into protective custody by the state) and ED won't have a server after that, but at least in the interim I can enjoy a good chuckle watching them lop off their head to try and spite their ugly body.

What's even more ironic is that without my uploads... yeah, the site looks less like parody and more like, well... the Daily Stormer to be honest. But then again maybe that's the look they're going for... especially given Ubertards colorful arrest history (at least according to Brian).
>be Onideus >be a huge faggot >"lolfaggot" >Oni:"I GOT U" >make up story about how you are the most important person in the history of a site >have diabetes and wear diapers
>>3089 Are you mad that your site is gonna topple over again? I want to do it sorta fun like tho, so I was thinkin I'd do like a "12 Days Of Encyclopedia Dramatica" kind of deal starting on December 1st. Like the first day I'll send out police reports to every police agency of every place he's ever lived in. Currently I believe he's in Waco, Texas. Then the second day I'll send out e-mails to every politician in Texas. Then the third day I'll file an IC3 report. Then the fourth day I'll contact every left leaning news organiza-oh, wait, I guess that's basically all of them. LOL Then the fifth day I'll contact the school districts where his kids attend and let them know that their dad is running a site with "rape articles" and "baby fuck articles" and the like. ...and then just keep going from there. I'm up to like day 8 so far, doing all sorts of pre-planning. It's going to be like my "Christmas Gift" to the world. I will not ever stop until every last one of those degenerates is rotting in a prison cell. It doesn't matter how many times you find a new owner, it doesn't matter how many new servers you find, I will always be there... and I will always tear your shit down... again and again and again and again.
Beans are delicious af I love beans.
>>3090 Haha you’re not going to be successful except in pudding off a bunch of law enforcement in the State is Texas and the Krum/Waco Police Deparments. Everything you’re talking up doing is actually a federal crime so go ahead and commit your little federal crime.
>>3139 You have absolutely no idea what you're even babbling on about... I just want you to know this.
>>3139 By the by... you want to know what ~is~ a federal crime... trying to intimidate someone into not filing a report with law enforcement or any government agency... https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/42/3617
>>3143 No one is doing that. I’m just saying pretending that someone is committing a crime because they’re hosting ED will land you in a world of legal trouble. Attempting to report said hipster to CPS (lol) will make it even worse on yourself because you have no evidence Conrad is even abusing his kids. Finally, if you look at who owns the IP addresses that ED is hosted on, it’s a company called GreyPonyIT, LLC. You know what a LLC IS, right? It’s a limited liability corporation. He’s shown us the documentation to this when he’s provided us the bills to ED, so if you target him it’ll be shown that you’re just targeting the hosting company instead of the website itself. Like the egotistical diaper faggot wearing ass you are you assume that he owns ED, which isn’t true. So even IF you really contacted the Krum police department, all Conrad has to show is the LLC filing and the bills to show that he’s immune. Kind of like Kiwi Farms. By the way, Josh Moon says he doesn’t want anything to do with you or about you and that you should probably stop using his name in your little flame wars.
>>3152 In case you're not aware, the state of Texas has some pretty precise laws on the books in regards to "obscenity"... https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.43.htm#43.22 The "offensive" page ALONE would get that moron convicted under Texas state law, especially given that it's brazenly advertising its intended function to break said law... LITERALLY! I mean, on every fucking page the "offended" page is linked to within articles on ED... it LITERALLY advertises, in a fucking banner, at the very top of the screen, its direct intent to break Texas state law. ...dude's goin to fuckin jail man. I mean, that even 1% of all the shit I got on Conrad... he... is... going... to... fucking... prison. End of line. PS - Moon-Moon isn't my friend, not sure why you mistakenly thought that he was. I don't think he's ever liked me and, quite frankly, I don't really think too much of him. He's not very interesting, he doesn't really create anything interesting, he just... runs a web board. I mean... no offense, but he's basically just Chet Faliszek - Ver 2 - Electric Boogaloo. He'll destroy all his shit eventually, just like Chet did... his type isn't hard to read.
>>3161 You’re offended by the offended page that there’s history of you posting to people’s pages? The first thing they’re going to ask is if he created the “Offended” paged, which is no, the page has existed long before Conrad started hosting ED. The second thing is, have you even looked up the penalties for a Class C misdemeanor in Texas? It’s up to a $500 fine. So yeah, even if you managed to get Walker, Texas Ranger on your side, they’ll just write his company a ticket.
>>3161 Oh and in defense to JM you mention in all of your delicious cake emails how only people like you and he can get away with running sites like ED but both of you are too technically incompetent.
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>>3163 Not sure what e-mails you're talking about, but... yeah, you cannot run a site like ED or Kiwi Farms if you don't have someone like me or Josh. That doesn't mean we're ~speshul~ in some way, it just means... we have nothing to lose. It's... it's kind of a BAD THING. Ya know? There are other people who have nothing to lose, we're definitely not the only ones on the whole of the planet, but as far the volatile communities in general... mmmm, I don't know of any others off the top of my head. And when I say "nothing to lose" I mean externally as well... no familial connections to consider, or at least not any that we still share ties with. Take Conrad for example, I certainly don't need to limit my legal activism to just him. His wife, his business associates, his parents if they're still around... pretty much anyone within his general orbit I can contact, including the people who own the lines he's leasing... and let them know about the kind of site he's running, what kind of material is on it, how he's acted/behaved, etc, etc. ...you can't do that with me. You can't do it with Josh either. Neither of us works a regular job, neither of us has any familial connections that haven't been burned... at best, with Josh, you might be able to target some of his "friends" (read: hanger-ons), but uh... I don't think he would really care. Again tho, we're not special, we're just burned. People who have been burned have a much greater degree of personal freedom in the world... but it is VERY costly. What you have to be willing to sacrifice for that freedom is not something most people would willingly give up.
>>3162 Wrong, wrong, wrong and more wrong. First off, I never put the "offended" page on anything, in fact I perceived the entire use of such banners (in general) to be stupid, even the ones that weren't geared towards shlock and awe. I REMOVED a lot of banners though. The only ones I ever made active/regular use of were the ones that could be used to article flagging, like the deletion/upkeep related ones. But, even then, I don't live in Texas and when I was uploading material the server wasn't in Texas, so your attempt at pointing and screaming, "NO U!" is... well, kinda stupid. Actually it's a LOT stupid. Also, again, sorry, but Conrad has been around for waaaaay longer than you think. Not only are there traces of his presence on the wiki dating as far back as 2012/13, but even before then he was uh... "active", in certain groups... used a slightly different name tho. Try the name MSGTrock, r0ck and various other permutations, back when he was active in alt.hackers.malicious, alt.2600 and various other groups. He has quite the colorful history... you really have no idea at all. Further, no, it's actually a second degree felony given the circumstances... == h) The punishment for an offense under Subsection (a) or (c) is increased to the punishment for a felony of the second degree if it is shown on the trial of the offense that obscene material that is the subject of the offense visually depicts activities described by Section 43.21(a)(1)(B) engaged in by: (1) a child younger than 18 years of age at the time the image of the child was made; (2) an image that to a reasonable person would be virtually indistinguishable from the image of a child younger than 18 years of age; or (3) an image created, adapted, or modified to be the image of an identifiable child. (i) In this section, "identifiable child" means a person, recognizable as an actual person by the person's face, likeness, or other distinguishing characteristic, such as a unique birthmark or other recognizable feature: (1) who was younger than 18 years of age at the time the visual depiction was created, adapted, or modified; or (2) whose image as a person younger than 18 years of age was used in creating, adapting, or modifying the visual depiction. == ...do you have ANY fucking idea just HOW MANY articles there are on ED that meet that criteria? And that's just ONE point. Under Sec. 43.262. "POSSESSION OR PROMOTION OF LEWD VISUAL MATERIAL DEPICTING CHILD." for example it's an automatic felony and stacks up from there if the person has priors. Most of the sections under that law carry a whole variety of penalties, many of which stack or get bumped up to more serious crimes given certain conditions. And that's not even going in the areas of libel and harassment, inciting users to acts of vandalism, property destruction, fraud, identity theft, coercion/blackmail, etc, etc. My favorite part was when Conrad offered to take down the illegal shit in exchange for two years worth of data from my archive. Yeah... blackmail... not a good look. And the part his main admin deleted a couple dozen pictures of bacon, then went back and edited the deletion logs so you couldn't see the file names or any details and then just blanket labeled the deletions as "child pornography"... that would be fraud, in addition to libel... also not a good look. And the time those morons plastered my social security number on the site, which immediately resulted in people using my SS at "check into cash" outfits... yeah... directly facilitating identity theft by posting someone's personal information... dumb. Really, REALLY dumb!
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>>3163 "both of you are too technically incompetent" Josh seems pretty tech savvy to me, I wouldn't call him incompetent, although he has made a couple mistakes. As far as myself... you srs nigga? I used to do tech support for CDW and handled all third party software/hardware calls, because... it didn't matter what software or hardware... because I'm an expert in everything... even if I've never seen it before. Literally... there is no facet, no division, no sub category, no part of the entire IT profession that I don't hold some mastery over. From programming (in anything) to graphic design to compression/encoding to rendering to repair to networking to symmetric multiprocessing, hell I'm even an expert in the most off the fuckin wall tech bullshit imaginable. From circuit bending to interface design to body mods to emulators to making your own electro luminescent paint, there are very few areas of science/technology that I haven't been involved with in some manner or another over the years. But hey... if you want to test the theory... maybe you'd like to participate in a little wager? *licks your face to establish dominance*
>>3168 You didn’t work for CDW. I have your entire LexisNexus file sitting in front of me. If you really want to take shots at our new we host, he’s prepared. From what he said the only reason why he hasn’t even bothered to sue you yet is because you hold no property holding, no job, nothing to satisfy a judgment. That you and your mother have lost several eviction proceedings and you admit in your own Gab feed that you take Hud assistance. So it’s going to be amusing when you call the Krum Police Department and even if they take your complaint seriously, which they won’t since it’s a civil matter, numerous people just have to point them at your own background. You’re all angry over an article over yourself and the funny thing is, people who have been asking the real website owners directly to remove certain things have made progress. You on the other hand go on this RAMPAGE that Conrad owns it just because they pay his company to host it. Oh, I did a checkuser on all of those names you claimed Conrad operates on, they don’t match. The checkuser database has the information from when you first started posting to the wiki Mad Fagger, remember that.
>>3186 You don't have shit, Sparkles. Also I never said I worked for CDW (directly). CDW, like most outfits, outsource to other companies, like Sykes for example. And of course I have no assets, what the fuck part of "nothing to lose" do you not comprehend? Your host (and you) have EVERYTHING to lose... me, I've got nothing. How do you think that's gonna work out for you? LOL Haven't really thought it through too well, now have you? PROTIP: The only blood you can squeeze out of a rock... is your own. Not sure what you mean by "several eviction proceedings", there was ONE incident, like... a decade ago, involving Coldwell Banker. Didn't have any choice in the matter tho, going to court was the only way to get 30 days. It was a good lesson though, namely in that you should NEVER trust real estate agents. Do not believe anything they say without getting it in writing first... actually the same kind of goes with everything. Never trust a human! Also, it's both a civil and criminal matter kiddo (as explained before). You're not real bright, are you? What's truly ironic is that YOU are the ones who are so angry, so infuriated by a random shit poster online... that you would risk losing EVERYTHING and destroying Conrad's life, potentially resulting in his imprisonment (and yours)... for what? Some random attack article on a wiki that no one even cares about? Do you REALLY feel that much out of control infuriation over me? LOL, what am I saying, of course you do! I mean you don't flagrantly break every other fuckin law you can find and risk losing everything just to try and "get back" at some random shit poster... no, that kind of incoherent insinity can only come from the purest form of ripening wrath imaginable... and just the kind I like to eat. Just goes to prove that every last one of you EDiots isn't any different than Couch Cuck. Let's face it, you're all just one one little tap away from shooting up another school. It's not a question of "if", it's a question of "when"... and all that neo Nazi propaganda you've got plastered everywhere... whoooh, it's enough to make /pol/ blush! I especially like the part where Conrad Rockenhaus went out of his way to specifically add the Daily Stormer to the site's whitelist (see attached). It is quite hilarious that you're attempting to project that rage onto me though. I don't mean to ruin your fantasy, but uh... I'm kinda hypomanic. In the way that the only emotions I readily feel are enjoyment, love and excitement. It's actually very difficult for me to feel things like anger, sadness, fear and other negative emotions. And, even when I can... it's very short lived. Also, your "checkuser database"... uh... hello, reality calling lying retard... https://encyclopediadramatica.se/User_talk:Conradrock HURR DE DURR! Seriously, is someone handing out dumbfuck awards later, cause uh... wow, you're a front runner! But hey, have fun risking everything just to try and hurt little 'ol me... I bet it'll be totally worth it! TOTALLY! :D
>>3188 Tl;dr even Lexis Nexus didn’t have that down as one of your income generating employers. You’re full of it. All I know is that you’ve made very public threats to our host's, and his family’s life. You’ve threatened serious physical harm upon him, and you’ve threatened numerous other people on ED. You’ve uploaded child pornography. You’ve made several statements which numerous people will back up, and you’re probably doing all of this with your mothers help, so now you’re getting her involved since you’re making these threats from her house on her internet connection.
>>3188 OMFG I just finished reading the email train, you opened the whole can of worms up buddy by making an extortion threat. Anything you say beyond that point is pointless because the multiple people who saw that email should just send it over to the Krum Police Deparment along with your online report. Man, you’re a dumb ass, you try to extort Conrad, OtterWhiskers, GirlonInternet, Joseph Evers, you threaten to file false police reports on them and false CPS reports on Conrad, knowing that you’re a liar, you upload child porn, you make death threats, and it’s all logged all because you think you should run ED. Legally, this isn’t going to end well for you.
>>3189 And you really think 3rd party data collection services are overly accurate? Oh, kiddo... you are quite gullible. I bet your little report doesn't even include any of the contract work I've done over the years. Not that you have any excuse for not knowing, my stories about my time at Sykes are public favorites, when I went all "Office Space" on them and ~tried~ to get myself fired... and then couldn't, because apparently I made myself irreplaceable. Also, you're right, I have made very public threats to contact law enforcement regarding your illegal activities, especially in light of your recent attempts to blackmail me, which clearly shows you have nothing but willfully malicious intentions. Hate to break this to ya kiddo, but not all threats are illegal. For example, at this very moment, I am THREATENING TO EAT A PIE! Don't do it man, don't make me do it! I'll fuckin cut that pie! Gonna slice that pie up into triangles! Good luck on getting my mom involved, since... ya know, she doesn't have any assets either and, from her perspective... she thinks you're all neo Nazi white supremacists. Which, I mean... you are, but I'll at least attempt to converse with you like you're an actual human being and not simply the socialist scum of the earth. I love how you're doubling down on the libelous pedo accusations and the Adam Schiff style 'numerous people will back up it up' claim. Apparently in Retard Land hearsay is the new "evidence"... yeah, not how it works dumbass. And uh, oh, right... I have evidence of you morons committing FRAUD to try and push that libelous narrative. ...that means you go to jail. Not just your boy Conrad, I mean... all of you. Forging electronic records to try and get someone falsely labeled and potentially convicted of a crime... do you have any fuckin clue as to how many state and federal laws you morons have broken? Have fun destroying yourselves over a random shit poster on the Internet though! Totally worth it! :D
>>3191 Telling someone you want illegal content removed isn't extortion you idiot. On the flip side, Conrad telling me that the only way he'll remove the illegal content is if I give him two years worth of data... yeah, that's extortion/blackmail. Also, do tell, what exactly about my report to Krum's police department was, in any way, false or inaccurate? Again though, good luck on your Adam Schiff style defense... boy I bet that'll totally work! :D
>>3191 Oh, by the by... it won't be the first time. Way back in the early 2Ks a man named Raymond Dixon tried to do something very similar when he hacked into the NAMBLA website and then defaced the front end of it with pictures and accusations about me (and then stupidly went around on Usenet bragging about what he did)... just like you idiots, he committed electronic fraud to try and libel me... and now he's in jail... forever. I mean, literally forever, I don't think they're ever going to let him out.
>>3191 Oh, this part "because you think you should run ED"... tha'fuck are you talking about? I don't want anything to do with ED, not at this point, not after one of their admins went postal and shot up a school... that was it for me! I don't know where morons like you draw the line at, but uh... dead kids... yeah, that's where I draw the fuckin line. The only thing I want is the libelous article about me removed... that's it. As far as the rest of the wiki they can do whatever the hell they want with it. Burn it, cut it, mutilate it, do more illegal shit... that's their business, not mine. I don't want fuck all to do with it. Which I guess is part of the real issue, that's why these crazies are so enraged... because I refuse to be a part of their deranged little organization. I mean Ubercrazy literally destroyed like 25% of the wiki all because I refused to come back and edit shit... which, I gotta tell ya, only further solidified my "No more fuckin crazy." stance. You people need to be jail, you really do. I mean I'm willing to look the other way if you at least remove the illegal shit you've got up about me... but uh... yeah, sorry, I have no interest, at all, in ever editing that wiki ever again. So just get that delusion out of your crazy head.
>>3204 I almost feel bad for you Oni, it is clear that you are mentally ill. Anyone that bothers reading even a little bit of your blog spam will feel the sane way.
>>3204 Have you considered using your Medicaid to see a Psychiatrist to treat your several mood disorders and a Psychologist to treat your various paraphilia? Such as the diaper fetish, the Incest Fetish, and the Child Rape Fetish Matthew Moulton of Walla Walla, Wa?
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>>3208 Yes, not wanting to be around school shooters and sychopaths definitely makes me mentally ill, brilliant diagnoses there, Dr. Dumbass. PS - "feel the sane way"... nice slip there, Freud! >>3209 Have you considered trying to use less random ass grabbing accusations? I mean, I realize you're batshit crazy and all, so like, probably this is gonna go over yer head a bit... but see, for NORMAL people, you're like the little tard who cried wolf. Like it might actually sound somewhat believable if you just stuck with ONE crazy ass delusion, but you see when you start trailing off a whole series of delusions one right after another... yeah, not so much with the credibility there, Downs. I went ahead and attached more of the "child porn" that they deleted off the server.
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Uh oh... looks like things may have toppled on over already! Hopefully it comes back up, otherwise all my hard work and research is gonna be for nothing. I'm really looking forward to my "12 Days Of Conrad" so it's gonna suck if I have to call the whole thing off. ...especially with all the work I've done so far building a case against him.
>>3210 why don't you want to be around psychos? doesn't mean you'll become one and it's funny to watch them implode in real time.
>>3217 Yeah, it's all fun and games... until they go postal and hurt/kill innocent people. With William Atchison I knew full well he was an outright psychopath so I specifically tried to get him to target his rage at me (see attached). It was a good idea... in theory, but then when he tipped over the edge he immediately gravitated towards the easiest available target... a school full of kids. That's the unfortunate side effect of psychopaths... they only target the weak and vulnerable. That's how you can tell the difference between a nutball and a revolutionary... the later will always pick a hard target... even if it means certain death, they're willing to die for the cause. On the flip side, a stupid fuckin nutball will always prey upon the innocent and will always cower in the face of real power.
>>3224 >It was a good idea... in theory i don't know if you should see it that way. other circumstances probably promoted his psychopathy more than the autistic rage he bore for you. side note: it's funny how misanthropes of ED hate everybody but still dole internet points out to each other just like "normies" do for megaphoning the easy opinions of their social circle.
Yes... other circumstances... like when he spent a week working on a promo slurping article for the Daily Stormer and was all super excited about it... and then I FLUSHED IT! I destroyed all his hard work and replaced it with my own version that verbally beat the shit out his favorite little website. And every time he tried to stop me, every time he'd try, zaiger would always come at my call and would always take my side and every time... all of the times... I did it so much that I effectively destroyed any semblance of control that he felt he still had in life... by taking it away... you see, I did it on purpose... I knew I could make him snap... I knew the very last thread he was hanging by... and I broke it... on purpose. But I didn't know he would take it out on innocents...
>>3233 I had to tho... because I could also see how long the thread would last... it was about to give... it wasn't a question of "if" but a question of "when", so I figured it best to set it off purposefully, but with specific direction... at me. Or at least, that was the theory. A "controlled explosion" so to speak. But it all went out of hand.
>>3212and the forums have been up the whole time. Rockenhaus is moving the images and wiki to new VMs you dumbass. No victory for you.
>>3235 also, you’re additionally a fat faggot fuck to realize that GreyPOny has host facilities in LAX, NYC, and DFW, right? You have no idea which Facility ED is in. So have fun with the Krum Police Deparmwnt, if they don’t tell you that it’s a civil matter they’ll tell you to send it to the FBI.
>>3242 Um, dumbass, it's where their company headquarters is at... not where their broom closet is at. Don't you comprehend how jurisdiction works? PS - You mean the feds stopped by, they disconnected all your shit, they're making dupes of everything and you're free to go about your business afterwards while they slowly analyze your data looking for evidence to help make a case against you.
>>3245 Than why is it back up so quickly? They must have really super fast copiers!
>>3245 What’s your phone number?
>>3247 8675309
>>3254 No I think we need to get Matthew Moulton, Child pornographer and pedophile, who currently resides in College Place,WA to give us a working number as his landline was disconnected You know Obama made free phones
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>>3246 As a matter of fact most do! They have these special trucks and trailer jobbies now where they can make super fast copies of all your data. They usually don't even bother taking the hardware at all because then it's just that much more garbage for them to have to process and deal with. With larger scale outfits, like say an entire data center, they probably do things a bit different tho. But then let's not kid ourselves, little Conrad is as small time as it gets. Poor fool can't even afford a lawyer. >>3247 I don't presently have one. I use burner phones on occasion, but I don't have one that's presently charged (with call time). Also I don't like phones since shit said over a phone line isn't inherently contractual in nature. If you send someone an e-mail... that e-mail can act as a binding contract and more. If you say shit over the phone... mmm, often times you don't even get the benefit of being able to record the call, much less the legal ability to use it against them if they say something really stupid.
>>3212 Wow, I’ve been in the datacenter almost all day installing new equipment for expansion and not a single person came by our cage to copy the hard drives. Any other delusions?
>>3295 'It's wasn't the police, we're just incredibly incompetent!' ...well it's nice that you've cleared that up. Don't worry though, I'm sure the police will show up eventually, what with all the ~actual~ child porn you've got plastered all over your site. Now... here's the hard question... should I start the "12 Days" on the 1st... or should I start like... 12 days before the 25th? Or should it start ~on~ the 25th?
>>3263 Actually, I have an attorney on retainer and business insurance that would cover me with an entire litigation team in case of a lawsuit. My attorney said it was pointless to file against you because you have no assets, no money, no job where we could garnish more than likely, so there’s no point in doing that. Now if you file some pro-se bullshit case against me, you’ll have a fun time responding to motion after motion after counterclaim after motion for summary judgment. He also went on to say if you did anything illegal, like the threats to call CPS just because my company hosts a website, or swatting me, or any of that shit, he did say he will act as my advocate to get you charged and indicted here in Texas. Full extradition. You think you can scare me with your lies and deceit you’re joking. In fact you’re just a pest who needs some guidance about the real world consequences of trying to harass me, if you hate ED so much, go after it’s owner.
>>3297 LOL, you're hosting LITERAL child pornography on your servers... I have *EVERY* fucking legal right to contact CPS, your commanding officers in the military, law enforcement, the attorney general, every state attorney general, every political candidate, every left leaning news outlet, your friends, your family, your business associates... sorry Conrad Epstein... but no, there is no law, not in ANY state that will protect you from me going around and pointing out facts and evidence against you. You want to try and file a restraining order against me, you want to try and claim I'm harassing you... go right tha'fuck on ahead... you don't get it, do you? You're fucked man... you've got illegal shit all over your server and you're actively engaging in illegal activities. You threatening to go to the police first... LOL, okay, go for it dude! You'll just be making things easier for me. I mean, what, you think they're just going to take your word for it? The minute you make a stink... they'll start investigating and it won't take them long to figure out who is legally culpable in this situation. Oh, by the by, you attempting to intimidate me from calling CPS... yeah, that is EVERY shade of illegal. Not that you've got any shortage of illegal shit under your belt. I mean, just look at the attached... you removed pictures of BACON from your server, then you turned right around and ALTERED THE DELETION LOGS and tried to create FAKE EVIDENCE that I had uploaded illegal material... you're fucked man. You are fucked on a level I don't think you can even begin to appreciate. You didn't just commit fraud... you committed fraud with the malicious intent to try and get someone falsely accused for a crime! You're goin to fuckin jail! :D Like I said earlier... I've got nothing to lose, your threats against me are absolutely meaningless. You on the other hand... you've got EVERYTHING to lose and so much evidence that you've effectively stacked against yourself... honestly, if you do have a lawyer (which I highly doubt)... he's just using you. If you had a REAL lawyer, like Brian had... they'd tell you... 1. Keep your idiot mouth shut. and 2. Make a deal with the devil. It's not like I'm asking for much... I mean you already went out of your way to destroy hundreds of articles... what's one more? You take down one little article and I magically go away forever and you can just keep on posting as much child porn on your server as you like! It's a pretty good deal for you. Stop doing one illegal thing and you won't risk having ALL of your illegal shit uncovered by the whole of the planet. ...but you know something... I think you're so angry... I think you HATE me, so much... that you would actually be willing to risk losing everything, even custody of your kids, even your own freedom... just for that one little libelous article. That's how crazy with rage you are. But then, I guess it's pretty obvious, I mean you don't commit electric fraud with the intention of creating fabricated evidence against someone and then go around BRAGGING ABOUT IT unless you've got a personal hard on for a prison cell with your name on it. I think maybe... I think people like you, deep down, you know you're a bad guy. You know you're a horrible person. And shit like this.. you're just self-sabotaging because you know you belong in jail.
>>3298 Actually dipshit, if you have the correct rights in Mediawiki, you can see the file info still, the user who uploaded it, and their IP address. From that database, they’ll contact your ISP to see if you were using that IP at that time (since you said you have a dynamic IP), ED can literally prove you are the one who uploaded child pornography. By the way, fucktard, I own an ISP, I don’t own ED. I have the owners name and a contract with contact information so I’ve done my part under the CDA. I wasn’t intimidating you about calling CPS. I was advising you of the ramifications of making a false report. I run an ISP that’s a free speech platform, which is why I have quite a bit of Tor exits and all that other stuff that other ISPs kick you off for. Basically, you need to take your shit up with ED and not me. If you want that information removed so badly why do t you contact Uberfukken, GirlonInternet, Oddguy, or OtterWhiskers? I don’t fucking own it and your problem is with them. For the record, your history of delusions of grandeur, lies, and deceit are easily found on other pages as well.
>>3435 So, let me see if I got this right... you claim, on your site... that you REMOVED every single thing I ever uploaded... and you ALSO just claimed that you have the ability to know exactly who it was who uploaded everything soooo... sorry kiddo, but the child porn on your server wasn't put there by me, you've already effectively admitted that it wasn't me (by preemptively removing all my content), which means all that's left, including the child porn... well that's 100% yours, Dumbass. Further, I've already provided evidence of you doctoring deletion logs to make false accusations soooo... kinda fucked yerself already on that one. I mean why would law enforcement trust anything you say about your logs when... clear as fuckin day, there's your admin, deleting pictures of BACON and relabeling it as child porn. Hurr de durr! Don't stop doubling down though, I'm sure if you keep committing electronic fraud things will ~totally~ work out in your favor! :D And no, I don't need to take anything up with anyone but you. You run the site, your name is plastered all over it, you're directly giving instructions/commands to others and all the little peons you listed all get their marching orders from you. Oh and don't worry, I've got a whole fuckin folder filled with screencaps and archive.today links covering just that ONE lie of yours alone. Don't stop though! Just keep doubling down with the lies! That's ~totally~ a good idea! I mean, law enforcement is so stupid, amirite? They're ~totally~ not going to notice your name, your account, your user status on the account, the dozens of comments and questions ~clearly~ referencing you as the owner... yeah, stupid police, they're totes not gonna notice that! You're so smart! By which I mean your lawyer, because obviously your lawyer is the one who instructed you to do all this and you ~totally~ didn't lie to your lawyer. By the by... who ~is~ your lawyer, exactly? I'd like to go ahead and contact them, ask them a few questions... especially since you've already effectively implicated them in your illegal activities. PS - Using your own libelous page of patently absurd bullshit as "evidence" that I'm somehow not trustworthy... yeeaaaah... that's probably not gonna end real well for you. Again... get a lawyer dude... do it now, or you'll be in jail... mark my words.
>>3224 Also Oni stop pretending to be other people, it's just obvious and sad. Honestly you are a retarded megalomaniac with unlimited salt. Relax and stop being gross with diaper fetishes and obessity or whatever else. Move on and take care of yourself.
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>>3456 Have you tried ~not~ being retarded?
Me: 'You really ought to stop committing fraud.' ED: 'Our nonexistent owner Joseph Evers sock puppet is back!' Just a point of historical fun... Brian actually tried this same thing, using a combination of Daniel Brandt and his personal sock puppet persona Joseph Evers... which then enabled Brandt to shut the entire fucking wiki down because... hurr durr, you claimed he was the owner! This is just... sheer undiluted stupidity, it really is. I mean... I don't see how they could ~not~ remember how this blew up in their idiot faces the last time they tried it. I really, REALLY hope Conrad tries to tell the police that the site is owned by a stolen identity... I mean, yet ANOTHER self-incriminating act of fraud ON TOP of identity theft?! Holy shit... this dude is gonna be so unbelievably fucked! :D Not to mention the fact that the company who BOUGHT Encyclopedia Dramatica, the brand, the site, the whole shebang... oh they got a shiny new target to sue! I think contacting them will be like... Day 10 of my "12 Days Of Conrad" plan. I looked it up and apparently it's supposed to run from December 25th to January 5th, so I'll kick off my fun right on Christmas day and I'll post the screen caps here. I still have two open days left to figure out.tho, but right now I'm busy compiling evidence for the other days.
>>3529 Go back to shitting your diapers you disgusting pervert
>>3537 The only diaper I'm wearing is your indignant rage... and I wear it with pride! :D
>>3540 Not seeing a denial on the disgusting prevert part... unsurprising.
>>3550 You can tell this retard is a leftist because he enjoys using kafkatrapping.
>>3551 I'd post the proof but your art is so bad it makes me nauseous. Imagine if you used all the time you spent writing long winded posts on the Internet to practice your art you'd be notable for something other than broken promises.
>>3200 Last time I checked, people don't get life in prison for hacking NAMBLA's site and badmouthing autistic fatfucks like you. What state was this guy in?
>>3557 I don't think you have any fuckin idea just how dangerous that can be. I mean, my random, forgotten thoughts can coalesce in ways that directly impact your reality in completely unexpected ways... https://gab.com/Onideus/posts/103178339414878945 That's how dangerous a God can be... if I simply THINK WRONG your entire reality could slip right off its dimensional axis. With directed effort I can effectively rewrite your reality wholesale. I often DON'T act, simply because it's like opening up a jar of pickles with a nuclear weapon... there's no subtlety, there's no holding back, there's simply sheer undiluted power. I try to be as forgiving as possible, I try to be patient, I try and give humans time... because often you're a little slow to realizing that you've fucked up. But even the patience of a God has its limits... and you can clearly see that if you've looked at the wake of my presence online... from Portal of Evil to Something Awful Sycophant Squad to 888Chan to every last little community and clusterfuck that ever felt the need to try and screw me over in some capacity... every last one is GONE or CRIPPLED... and all I had to do was THINK about it. In this particular situation though... I'm pissed off enough that I'm actually going to take action. It's quite rare, no doubt, but sometimes a God needs to establish the extent of their power. So that's what I'm going to do... no more playing, no more chances, no more patience, no more forgiveness gloves. I'm going to show you the power of weaponized OCD... that little police report I fired off his bow last month... that was just a warning shot. Hence the reason I picked a town where he's no longer living at. No more warning shots, no more playing. My "Twelve Days of Conrad" event will show off the full extent of Lawful Chaos. You want to see art? You want to see where you end and I begin? The fun is gonna start on the 25th of December, so stick around kitten. >>3560 Is this guy retarded? The judicial system is practically notorious for heavy handed sentences when it comes to computer related "crimes". I mean, fuck all, look at Aaron Swartz... guy downloaded a bunch of academic journals at college, pretty much did absolutely NOTHING illegal and they were gonna put him in prison for THIRTY FIVE FUCKIN YEARS! ...of course he hung himself, so I guess it doesn't entirely count. Weev, that's another great example. What the fuck did he do? Pseudo URL "hacking" and he got about FOUR YEARS in federal prison. Or take Emmett Gulley, the guy made an angry little death threat on someone's answering machine and they locked him up for like a decade... granted he probably ~should~ have been locked up (for other reasons), but still... the whole phone threat was pretty weak. I mean, I get hate ridden death threats all the time, but I wouldn't want any of those little screwballs put in prison just because they couldn't keep their emotions in check. Sometimes people get angry and say stupid shit... doesn't mean they should be put in prison for it... and yet, that happens all the time. Oh, this one was great... https://www.cnn.com/2013/07/02/tech/social-media/facebook-threat-carter/index.html And this one... http://thefreethoughtproject.com/man-criminal-record-facing-life-prison-flashing-gang-signs-facebook/ Seriously, "last you checked"... dumbass you have no fuckin idea what's goin on in the world you live in.
>>3561 I asked what state this guy was in so I can actually attempt to verify your claims. You respond with several paragraphs about how the criminal justice system is corrupt, but don't post anything to verify your claims about the NAMBLA guy. Typical.
>>3563 Fuck if I know, it was like... more than a decade ago. I think at one point he was in Canada though like trying to hide out. Part of the reason he was so pissed off at me was because he was like a drunkard who was living in a storage facility... illegally. And I basically got him kicked out of said storage facility... and then he went batshit fuckin crazy. Also it wasn't just what he did to me, he was doing all sorts of crazy illegal shit to other people as well. He got nailed on a whole slew of charges.
>>3564 You stated... >and now he's in jail... forever. I mean, literally forever, I don't think they're ever going to let him out. If he's still in prison then link to his inmate profile.
>>3565 Tha'fuck is an "inmate profile"... what the shit are you on about, Numbnuts?
>>3567 You are literally retarded.
>>3568 No, seriously, explain to us all what an "inmate profile" is... because... that's not a thing, you fuckin retard.
>>3561 Couldn't be bothered to read your wall of text kiddo, I'm sorry that you're a chromosomally deficient doorknob but I respect actions not words matty
>>3569 Most states maintain an online database of current inmates. You can easily find their profile there if you have their name. Now stop stalling and post proof that this guy is still in prison, you fucking mongoloid.
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>>3585 Well, I don't know what state he's in, or was in, nor am I aware of any "online database of current inmates" sooo... what the fuck are you babbling about? Also it was like federal charges, so it wasn't like a state thing anyway. As I recall there were a whole multitude of states and even other countries involved because he was doing illegal shit all over the place. Why do you care so much about this dude anyway? I mean, he wasn't anyone especially important, hell I'd rate Emmett Gulley or Gary Lee Burnore (Nomen Nescio) as being more historically relevant than gawd damn Rikijoke. Here's some pictures of the guy (see attached)... not sure if that helps your search or not. They're like... nearly twenty years out of date tho. *shrugs*
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>>3587 So, you have no idea whether he's still in prison or not?
>>3590 Nope, I have no idea, nor do I give a shit one way or the other. If I was going to worry about a reckless lunatic from my past (not like there's a shortage) I'd probably worry more about Gulley since he has a history of violence and he's completely out of his God damn gourde... http://emmettgulley.blogspot.com/ https://emmettgulleycollection.wordpress.com/
Replying in Lessings wish me luck


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