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Kultur, Hobbys, Verschiedene Themen


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Gardening Anonymous 11/22/2019 (Fri) 03:41:50 No. 4
GARDENING THREAD I'll start: >be me >constantly complaining to the people I live with about how the food we eat is poisoned with fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, fungicides and who knows else >the gods sent me an idea >go to farmer's market >buy one of 30 kinds of fruits/vegetables >go to garden, make 30 holes and plant 30 fruits/vegetables whole so that the non-seed part works as a natural fertilizer >spend the rest of the day killing the grass with my shovel >2 months later, about half of the plants failed to grow, have like 15 plants growing out of the ground. >3 months later eat my first meal that isn't poisoned (because I fertlized the plants with compost from leftovers instead of stupid chemicals) >my eyes instantly turn blue and my hair turns blond
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>>4 sounds true and hetrosexual. > be me > likes quiet time > weed garden every weekend > buffalo grass constantly invades my immaculate kikuyu > grumpygnome.jpg > use Grandpa's method of future speculation, been 5 year now, keeps me planned out > scanning and tracing the roots back to their origin > buffalo grass is like a hydra, always grows another sprout if you leave its base intact > select the biggest root at the end of the hunt, count the ribs as do every week > <3 ribs - 'danger zone, avoid people' > 4-7 ribs - 'be cautious but otherwise smooth sailing' > >7 ribs - 'theres something interesting around the corner' > last week found a vein like a kangaroo tail, thicc and 16 whole ribs > flusteredkoala.jpg > never happens, wasn't a rainy week either > is my neighbour going to finally pay back the damages he did to my shed? > am I getting 2 extra scallops in my next takeout order? > should i keep the scratchys i was going to gift to my sisters? > in awe, walking around the block bigtail in hand > hands waving all over the place heads racing with speculation > zone back in to the world around me > looking straight towards the second story of redbricked building > a young lady is getting a bit hot and heavy in the shower facing an open window (why?) > we lock eyes > "Eeep!" *window slams shut* > family with a stroller looks to the paniced women whose naked silhouette can still be seen through the stained glass, then back to me > i'm a shirtless man from the pliocene era wearing only a pair of boxers looking straight at her with glassy out of focus eyes > veryflusteredkoala.jpg > scamper back home rootail in hand, "what else does week have in store?" > keep sisters scratchys just incase i've still got some good fortune > nothing out of the ordinary happens all week, only get scratchy return of $3.50, not even the full price of a single ticket > lesson learnt. Way more than 12 ribs is inhuman and the method of predicting the future becomes literal and immediate.
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What resources for learning about gardening would you guys all recommend? >books >websites & blogs >etc. I'll recommend the Missouri Botanical Garden Plant Finder -- It has a lot of information about plants, but it is more about Botanical Gardens, rather than vegetable gardens. Still, you might find it useful. http://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/plantfinder/plantfindersearch.aspx
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Springtime is basically here, at least here in my hot brown infested zone. I've been semi-randomly throwing seeds into the ground at various points in the last few weeks, basically just hoping to have some real plants competing with all these fucking weeds. here's a report: PEQUIN PEPPERS - none of the seeds that I put in the ground sprouted. I was able to sprout some in an indoor greenhouse setup, then transferred the plants outside. They haven't rotted away but they also haven't gotten any bigger. Hopefully the plants will start puffing up with more sunlight now. VARIOUS OTHER PEPPERS - planted seeds but nothing sprouted. I'm somewhat hopeful that the seeds are just sleeping due to low soil temp and that I'll get some sprouty bois within the next couple weeks. BEANS - Beans have been my main success for winter planting. These sprouty bois get big real fast and don't seem to mind the cold. Going to plant a bunch of different types. Might need to get some form of barrier, some type of critter around seems to munch bean plants but I haven't caught anything in the act exactly to know for sure. BLUEBERRIES - these are blooming, kind of cool. My plants are small and not well planted, they didn't seem to do anything over the last 9 months. Nice to see they're awake. Not sure if I'll actually get berries out of it, since only one plant out of 2 is blooming and... pollination... and stuff... ALPINE STRAWBERRIES - happily producing fruit all through the winter. nice. Seems to be a lagged model, where a patch of sunny weather ~3 weeks ago gets turned into berries. When the weather turns cold and cloudy, it will continue to mature the current berries, but won't bake any new flowers until it gets warm again. Alpine strawberry plants don't send out "runners" like June berries do, but I've found them very easy to propagate by simply stepping on berries and swishing the mush into the dirt, as long as the ground stays moist. A couple lil' bois now growing near my main plants thanks to this technique. REGULAR STRAWBERRIES - some of these gave off a few berries in November. One plant is still producing a handful of occasional berries now in January, but they keep getting holes eaten in them by ants, while still on the plant. POTATOES - I left some potatoes in the ground, unharvested from last season. The tops of the plants died off back a couple months ago. I'm hoping to see some potato sprouts soon. WEEDS - tons and tons of little shit-assed fake carrot plants with purple flowers. Haven't figured out the real name for this plant yet. Also taking care to eradicate FUCKING CHEESEWEED sprouts anywhere I see them (malva parviflora), since those little asshole plants are drought-resistant and build big underground taproot networks that make them a pain to dig up once they're established. Only spotted one or two FUCKING BINDWEED shoots so far - had a bunch last summer, not sure how much the problem is solved vs. the plants are just sleeping till it gets warmer to start fucking up my shit.
it's good to pay attention to the sun. the sun changes angle by around pi/4 radians so it can make a big difference in terms of shade from adjacent trees. the more you'll know
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>>637 accidentally some words. What I mean, is the sun changes angle by about pi/4 radians throughout the course of the year. obviously, this is what makes the seasons warm or cold, but the sun angle has a specific application. you're faggot trees and fences and shit will cast different shadows during winter as during spring/fall and summer. >implying the earth is round also post flat earth memes I guess
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faget aphids are back. found a bunch of fuckers on a garlic plant - what's the point of smelling all badass if it's not toxic to the fucking parasites? disappointing. I'll get some ladybugs tomorrow, but STILL. Pls recommend some plants that humans can eat but bitchfids can't. I guess they've left my tomatoes alone, so besides that.
I washed away the aphids with one of my piss jugs. seems to have helped the situation.
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Bumping since it is now closer to actual springtime. I restocked my bird feeder with suet cake and now the birds seem to be leaving my beenz alone. a bunch of the first batches of sprouts got owned but i kept replanting at random and now i've got a bunch of plants that are now at the first three-true-leaves stage. I also used some of that plastic covering fabric at one point to cover some sprouts in containers. works okay, not great. I think the stuff I got was too thick and blocks too much light, few sprouts ended up way too leggy and are now flopping over. also seemed mostly impervious to water, so you probably have to do a proper drip line. I'll sort out some drip line situation once it gets hot and dry. also going to try to grow some peas this year

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