I'll watch that video another day, I've not the time right now. I appreciate the link though, also noticed the run time of 25:55. That number is just absolutely everywhere. Maybe I'm being too autistic with this.
>How are you keeping anyway?
I could be better, but I'm far from terrible. There are plenty far worse off, but still, I have my struggles. I still catch myself beating myself over inconsequential things, and as you say I tend toward the Abyss a lot. I bounce between these two states, caught on the pendulum, in/near the Abyss, then jovial. It's simply how it goes, I reached great heights, but failed to raise above the pendulum, so it swung the other way, to great depths. I'm slowly beginning to regain some of my power level, and the advice alone has been sobering, so I should be able to right this.
>in and out of the Abyss a lot
Unfortunately. I get to be out of it and on my way to recovery, then something comes up that hits me like a dump truck full of despair. I know I have no reason to despair, but that doesn't help much when the Abyss calls my name, so to speak.
I devised a decent technique for getting out now, though. Those things that I've attached to me, guilt, despair, whatever it is, are a cause, but not the root. However, I can get out by focusing on letting them "fall" away from me, to let them detach, then breath them out, to get them out of me. I know it sounds odd, but well, it's not the most batshit thing I've said. It's interesting, because there is an actual physical reaction to it, when I breath out, and do it all right, my whole body will shudder involuntarily, coupled with a strong sense of relief. I only share this because maybe someone else will find it useful. It seems to work for me, but is just a temporary solution.
I probably should, or find something similar. A preventative measure rather than a reactive one for once I've entered the Abyss. I also need to not allow myself to go so far without being fully here too.
I've had a fair bit sent my way, and I don't think you were the only one. I appreciate it greatly. What I have received has helped quite a lot, but I'm still not quite grounded right. I felt strong feelings of soothe, happiness and healing. I'm grounded enough to discern reality but I did see an image on my monitor while it was powered off, so I know I've still a ways to go. But then again, it is a black mirror, so maybe I would have seen it anyway. Unlikely though, as I only ever saw steam and contorted faces in it, no matter how long I stared or how well I focused.
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